Author’s Note: written for a competition in one of WD’s critique groups.
“Quack Remedies and Cosmetics” was the topic, and I decided not to write a story but make a list of really odd cosmetics and medicines. It was fun coming up with all these names and descriptions, and I had ten of them initially but I narrowed it down to five because I don’t want to, you know, hog all your time. (Although I actually do. Just being honest.)
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IF YOU COULD INVENT A QUACK PRODUCT OR REMEDY, WHAT WILL IT BE? Leave me a comment to let me know!
An array of concoctions that will bewitch and enchant you! Ethereal and esoteric, brewed with slavish perfection and served with a side of sweet decadence! Give your senses the hedonistic delight they crave!
Envy of Rapunzel: this potion is still and silent, a pale lavender liquid the consistency of cream. The potion is ensconced in what appears to be locks of golden hair braided thickly around a glass bottle.
There is no telling if a prince ever clambered up these locks, but which woman wouldn’t kill for hair like the witch’s poor captive bird?
Delirium: This potion swirls endlessly in an eddy of madness. The color of a rainbow, it promises visions of beauty real enough to blur reality. Who needs opium anymore? Daydreamers, sail your ships and harness your dragons!
Juliet Sleeps: This sleep concoction is clear and thin, and through the microscope, you can see dreams bubble to the surface. Too bad most of them are haunting and desolate romantic tragedies.
Tomorrow: An equal blend of wistfulness and sorrow. Strands of hopeful blue run through a creamy white potion. Buoyant and redolent of vanilla. All your yesterdays end with a single sip.
Apocalypse Now: This potion is rage and befuddlement, deliria and chaos. Perfect for young women with the desire for warring wooers. Flame red and toxic green combine to form an explosive concoction housed in a cage of glass and steel.
Disclaimer: No unicorn, dragon nor Yeti were harmed during the production of these potions. The same need not directly apply to homo sapiens. All deliveries subject to distance and availability of camels. Prices exclude camel-fodder and taxes.